Held Together #7

Every parent should be thinking about the world we're giving to our kids

I just finished reading Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy. It was beautiful and heartbreaking, filled with complex characters you couldn’t help but root for. Without being preachy, it offers an incredible commentary on climate change and the ethics of the world we’re leaving our children — one where climate disaster isn’t a distant threat but an inherited reality. It’s a book about loving your family fiercely, and knowing, just as fiercely, that the world won’t always be safe for them.

Do yourself a favor and read this book.

Thought it didn’t shove it in your face, this book focused on the climate. But it got me thinking more broadly about the world we’re creating — and leaving — for our kids. In my most generous assessment, there’s a lot we’re doing better than ever before: more of us are politically engaged because we understand our votes matter. Many of us — though far, far from all — are more accepting and kind toward people who aren’t like us.

But we’re also more divided. More distracted. Technology consumes our lives in ways that aren’t healthy for us, and set a troubling example for our children. Bad men continue to escape consequence—just look at the Epstein files. Law-abiding people, including children and babies, are being sent to inhumane detention centers. Americans exercising their right to peacefully protest are being shot in the street. Mass shootings persist because our legislators prioritize special interests over protecting kids. Tens of thousands of Americans die every year for lack of adequate health care. It’s appalling. It’s scary.

And yet—my greatest joy remains showing my kids the magic of the world, and celebrating that magic in every form. From modeling what a truly loving, healthy marriage looks like, to finding a new playground.

The week in one sentence

Keep showing up, even when it’s hard.

What helped

I’m officially in full nesting mode, and everything in my body is telling me to tackle random house projects instead of work. I’m also trying to lean into the fact that I’ll be a mom of two for just a few more weeks — which means making the most of this time with my oldest two before the baby arrives. As you can probably tell, the state of the world has been weighing on me. But I’m trying to turn that despair into action, and into love for my family. When I’m struggling, I come back to my favorite poem: Good Bones by Maggie Smith.

Good Bones By Maggie Smith

Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I've shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways I'll keep from my children. The world is at least fifty percent terrible, and that's a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children. For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you, though I keep this from my children. I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor, walking you through a real shithole, chirps on about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.

Watch: Paradise — We’ve been watching the second season of this show, and it is so freaking good. Suspenseful, character-driven, and full of genuine surprises.

Read: Heartwood by Amity Gaige — This has been a really great reading stretch for me. This novel about the search for a hiker lost on the Appalachian Trail in Maine is genuinely unputdownable. The discomfort of the third trimester had me up extra early this morning, and the silver lining was getting to read in a quiet house.

Listen: The Idiot from Serial — Serial is back with a new podcast that proves their storytelling team is still the very best. It’s a story of drama and crime within the reporter’s own family, and it’s absolutely captivating.

Buy: These fun Threshold carrot candles — We don’t usually decorate for Easter, but I spotted these whimsical candlesticks at Target and couldn’t resist. Bonus: my kids comment on them every single time they walk by.

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A small good thing

Today is No Kings Day! If you’re out there participating — thank you for standing up and speaking out peacefully for this country. And if you’re not able to be there in person, keep speaking out however you can: on social media, in your community, or with your wallet.

Next week’s gentle focus

Presence. For my family, and for myself.